Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
