Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
