Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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