I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
