Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
