I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
