if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
