Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
