im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
