but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drake has all the answers
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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