He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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