just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
