I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
