Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
4 words: hood of his car
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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