I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
