i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
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It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
did i just pee glitter
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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