i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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