What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize