last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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