that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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