I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
