You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
