all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize