so explain again why im purple
no
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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