Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach

Fav 25 3268 3018
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up

Fav 10 3869 760
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye

Fav 75 3571 2549
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

Fav 37 4570 1072
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(712): View more from Iowa

I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

Fav 10 4940 1637
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

Fav 5 1810 996
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."

Fav 4 2701 907
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament

Fav 2 914 327
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says

Fav 1 20 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT