i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
