i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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