i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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