I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
