UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
