One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
