i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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