I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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