Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
