I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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