his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
