nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he thought i was a dude.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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