Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
