I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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