The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
