for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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