dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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