I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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