Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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