No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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