Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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