my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
