I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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