Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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