Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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