I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize