It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
