I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
