New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
