I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to calm my uterus...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
