I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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