Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
