the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
