I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
