Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
