Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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