The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
