Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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