No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
