Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
