So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
