grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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