On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
