you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize